Things I wish I knew about mental health in my twenties – Self-Advocacy

As I’ve moved through my counselling education and my career as a counselling therapist, I’ve reflected extensively on my own mental health development. In fact, it’s part of our training as professionals in the helping field to look at our own lives and inspect what kind of traumas, habits, and relationship patterns we carry around with us. Not only does it make us healthy as humans, it absolutely enhances our expertise and insights as counsellors. So, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time looking back at the challenges I’ve faced throughout my life and how I managed to find my way through them.

The one thing that stands out most for me is that I didn’t truly receive the help that ultimately got me healthy until I had tried a million different avenues.

Let me share a bit about my story.

When I was in my early teen years, I began to face challenges with my mental stability. Arguably, I had been experiencing instability throughout my entire childhood, but it wasn’t identifiable until I hit about age 13. My parents didn’t understand what was happening, nor did I. They took me to see a couple of mental health professionals but for whatever reason, the sessions just didn’t take. I can’t recall if I was assessed as fine or if I was unwilling/uninterested in continuing; all I remember is that the therapy did not go very far.

That’s not true. I also recall having some sort of dissociative episode while visiting with a psychologist at the IWK in Halifax. I remember the room spinning and managing to pretend I felt normal to the kind woman sitting across from me. I didn’t want to seem “crazy,” after all.

As I matured and moved onto university, then into my professional career, then more school and more jobs, and more school and more jobs, I continued to struggle with emotional self-regulation. It was strange because I excelled in my academic and professional endeavours, but personally and in my relationships, I faced significant hurdles that I just didn’t seem to be able to get a handle on.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t for lack of trying. While pursuing my undergraduate degree at Dalhousie University, I sought the guidance of various university counsellors, then did again while studying at different colleges and while working on my master’s degree at Acadia University. Any time I was in a professional role with insurance benefits, I went to private counsellors and psychologists. I also tried different types of group therapy and government-funded programs, and sought alternative methods of healing.

Somehow, I continued to fly under the radar. People who knew me well could tell that I was having trouble, but nobody could truly see the pain I was in, or even the harmful ways I was trying to cope. My successes in my academic and professional pursuits masked what was going on behind the facade. 

It wasn’t until I was 39 that it finally dawned on me that I was contending with a legitimate, diagnosable and treatable mental health disorder. It explained everything I had faced throughout my teen years and adult life, even going back to my childhood moods, including the various ineffective and unhealthy ways I had tried to manage my internal struggles.

At that point, I sought the assistance of a physician and asked to be referred to a psychiatrist, as I was 99% sure what I was dealing with and wanted a proper diagnosis. 

That physician didn’t believe me. Instead, I was given a couple of prescriptions and told I’d be fine. 

I wasn’t.

I then saw a different kind of doctor for a separate reason and broke down in her office. She listened, gave me a basic assessment, concurred with my personal self-assessment, then gave me the referral I needed. Two months later, I was receiving the treatment I needed, and my life has not been the same since. Nine years later, my life continues to steadily look very different than all the years prior.

Okay, Holly, thanks for sharing… What’s your point?

When facing mental health concerns, we need to advocate for ourselves. If you reach out for help and don’t get it, for whatever reason, do not stop trying. It can be exhausting, especially if people don’t believe you, and it can take years, unfortunately. 

But don’t stop. 

Thankfully, I do believe the systems we have in place here in Atlantic Canada are improving, but there is a long way to go, and resources can be difficult to find and navigate. Even when you do get to the people you need to listen, they sometimes still can’t hear you. I don’t believe that it’s because people don’t care; quite the opposite. I believe it has to do with an under-equipped and therefore overburdened system, as well as community perceptions at large. I also believe that it can be very scary for the people close to us and so they sometimes have difficulty acknowledging our struggles or knowing how to effectively be there for us.

At any rate, don’t stop. It is worth it. I know this from experience. Reach out to your teachers, friends, local counsellors, doctors, and clinics… keep trying until you find someone who will listen. Help is there, you just may need to work to get to it.

Let’s Connect

Casey Counselling & Reiki Therapy
📞 506-889-6875
📧 holly@caseycounselling.ca
🌐 www.caseycounselling.ca

With care,
Holly Casey
Counsellor & Reiki Practitioner 💛